Language Bloopers
This page contains a selection of bloopers relating to language, gathered from 4 best-selling compilations by Viking Press published under the pseudonym of Alexander Abingdon in the 1930s. The selected extracts, edited and rearranged, are reproduced for readers in countries where the books are in the public domain, which, to the best of our knowledge, includes Australia (because more than 70 years have passed since the books' publication and because the so-called anonymous rule applies). For other countries, please check your local copyright laws.
Figurative language is when you mean a rooster and say chandelier
The masculine of vixen is vicar
The feminine of sheep is you
The masculine of ladybird sounds as if it ought to be gentlemanbird, but that looks funny
Q. Give the passive of “John shot my dog” A. “My dog shot John”
Q. What is the future of “he drinks”? A. He is drunk
The plural of monocle is binnacle
Q. What kind of noun is trousers? A. An uncommon noun because it is singular on top and plural at the bottom
George Idiot wrote Silas Marner
Q. Since pro means the opposite of con, can you give me an illustration? A. Progress and Congress
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