Prize Miscellaneous Bloopers
This page provides a selection of miscellaneous English language bloopers. The bloopers come from authentic, unconsciously humorous answers to school exam questions and essays and from letters to government departments, gathered from a compilation by Viking Press published under the pseudonym of Alexander Abingdon in 1932. The selected extracts, edited and rearranged, are reproduced for readers in countries where the book is in the public domain, which, to the best of our knowledge, includes Australia (because more than 70 years have passed since the book's publication and because the so-called anonymous rule applies). For other countries, please check your local copyright laws.
Dear Sir, I am a lone woman and parsley dependent
Dear Sir, I have been in bed thirteen years with one doctor and intend to try another
Dear Sir, I did not know that my husband had a middle name and if I did, I don’t think it was “None”
The French flag is one half white, one half red, and one half blue
Religious toleration was granted to all except heretics
Q. What is the principle of the separation of powers? A. The law-making, law-enforcing, and law-breaking powers are separated
One good road law of New Jersey is: Always keep on the right side of every one
The phrase “talking in the vernacular” means “talking in the vestibule”
In Salem, 19 old women, a few of whom were men, were hung
Baldwood then, passionately jealous, killed Troy, thus completely ruining his life
In order to become citizens of the United States foreigners must take out their civilization papers
The iron hand of the Government has put its foot down
Churches are supported by the tribulations of the members
Q. Who is the Shepherd and who are the sheep? A. Our Lord is the Shepherd and the goats are the sheep
Although the patient had never been fatally ill before, he woke up dead
Heathens wash up idols, but we wash up God. It is right to have good times on Thanksgiving Day, but we ought to spend part of the day in church washing up God.
The man was asleep, but he didn’t sound asleep
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News and Updates
30 Nov 11: Author of Funny English launches Facebook Fan Page for new book, The Funny Dictionary
19 Nov 11: Order Funny English for Christmas. Order here, from anywhere in the world.
9 Sep 11: Funny English author, Troy Simpson, to give Author Talk, 15 Sept 11 (updated: SOLD OUT)
27 April 11: Funny English is the National Library Bookshop's No 1 Bestseller for Autumn 2011! Order your copy while stocks last
8 April 11: Author of Funny English, Troy Simpson, joins fellow author Denise Sutherland in launching the website, English Language Skills.
11 Jan 11: Read the review of Funny English in Teacher: The National Education Magazine here.
11 Jan 11: Sister website, Write Better English, finds new owners. Read press release.
25 Dec 10: Funny English receives glowing review in Teacher: The National Education Magazine (more details soon)
21 Dec 10: A video of the launch of Funny English is now available
16 Dec 10: Troy Simpson and Denise Sutherland to write a book of funny definitions
15 Dec 10: Author of Funny English announces work on new book of funny exam answers
11 Dec 10: Author of Funny English attends book signing at Borders
22 Nov 10: Funny English reaches 60,000 Facebook Fans
21 Nov 10: Funny English is featured on ABC Radio's Tuesday Morning Book Club
19 Nov 10: Funny English moves up into Borders' Top 10 Bestseller List in Humour & Gifts
13 Nov 10: Funny English makes Borders' Top 20 Bestseller List in Humour & Gifts
8 Nov 10: Funny English debuts in the National Library's bestseller list for October at number 3
4 Nov 10: Funny English receives positive review by The Canberra Times. Read the review here.
31 Oct 10: Funny English is available from Borders' Christmas Catalogue under "Hot Gifts for Everyone"
29 Oct 10: Readers' positive feedback floods in. Read news ticker for examples.
29 Oct 10: Funny English is officially launched. Details to follow.
23 Oct 10: Funny English reaches 50,000 Facebook Fans
18 Oct 10: Funny English moves up from 9th to 8th in NewSouthBooks' Top 10 Bestsellers — in all categories
17 Oct 10: Funny English receives glowing customer reviews here, here, and here
13 Oct 10: Funny English is most "Liked" book in Humour at Borders
8 Oct 10: Funny English moves up NewSouthBooks' Top 10 Bestsellers — in all categories
6 Oct '10: Author of Funny English interviewed by Carol Duncan on ABC radio Newcastle/Sydney
4 Oct '10: Funny English enters Top 5 Bestseller List in Humour for Borders
4 Oct '10: Author of Funny English interviewed by Ross Solly on ABC radio Canberra
2 Oct '10: Funny English enters Top 10 Bestseller List for NewSouthBooks
1 Oct '10: Funny English is top pre-order in Humour for Borders
1 Oct '10: Funny English appears in bookstores
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