Prize Miscellaneous Bloopers
This page provides a selection of miscellaneous English language bloopers. The bloopers come from authentic, unconsciously humorous answers to school exam questions and essays and from letters to government departments, gathered from a compilation by Viking Press published under the pseudonym of Alexander Abingdon in 1932. The selected extracts, edited and rearranged, are reproduced for readers in countries where the book is in the public domain, which, to the best of our knowledge, includes Australia (because more than 70 years have passed since the book's publication and because the so-called anonymous rule applies). For other countries, please check your local copyright laws.
Dear Sir, I am a lone woman and parsley dependent
Dear Sir, I have been in bed thirteen years with one doctor and intend to try another
Dear Sir, I did not know that my husband had a middle name and if I did, I don’t think it was “None”
The French flag is one half white, one half red, and one half blue
Religious toleration was granted to all except heretics
Q. What is the principle of the separation of powers? A. The law-making, law-enforcing, and law-breaking powers are separated
One good road law of New Jersey is: Always keep on the right side of every one
The phrase “talking in the vernacular” means “talking in the vestibule”
In Salem, 19 old women, a few of whom were men, were hung
Baldwood then, passionately jealous, killed Troy, thus completely ruining his life
In order to become citizens of the United States foreigners must take out their civilization papers
The iron hand of the Government has put its foot down
Churches are supported by the tribulations of the members
Q. Who is the Shepherd and who are the sheep? A. Our Lord is the Shepherd and the goats are the sheep
Although the patient had never been fatally ill before, he woke up dead
Heathens wash up idols, but we wash up God. It is right to have good times on Thanksgiving Day, but we ought to spend part of the day in church washing up God.
The man was asleep, but he didn’t sound asleep
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