Funny Vocabulary Test Answers
This page contains a selection of funny test answers relating to vocabulary, gathered from a best-selling compilation by Viking Press published under the pseudonym of Alexander Abingdon in 1931. The selected extracts, edited and rearranged, are reproduced for readers in countries where the book is in the public domain, which, to the best of our knowledge, includes Australia (because more than 70 years have passed since the book's publication and because the so-called anonymous rule applies). For other countries, please check your local copyright laws.
The following selection of funny vocabulary test answers is sponsored by the popular vocabulary-building software, Ultimate Vocabulary. Use Ultimate Vocabulary to improve your vocabulary and to support this website: for every copy of Ultimate Vocabulary sold through this link, Ultimate Vocabulary will give us part of the sale price, which will help us maintain this site.
Here are some authentic, unconsciously humorous definitions by school children:
Acrimony: what a man gives his divorced wife
Adult: a man that has stopped growing at both ends but not in the middle
Anatomy: the study of heavenly bodies
Animal husbandry: the act of having more than one husband at the same time
Artichoke: an ancient instrument of torture
Celibate: one who cleans out cellars
Facetious: a term used to denote the followers of Mussolini
Federal Reserve: a reserve where federal employees hunt wild game
Incinerator: a person who hints bad things instead of coming right out and telling you
Inertia: the state of being abreast
Laxity: a cure for constipation
Manoeuvre: what they put on grass. We have manoeuvre on our lawn.
Oasis: a sea-monster with long tenacles that crawls around on the bottom of the sea
Ostracise: when an ostrich sticks his head in the sand when he thinks someone is coming
Philanthropist: one who has the power of throwing his voice
Seminary: a place where they bury the dead
Strategy: when you don’t let the enemy know that you are out of ammunition, but keep on firing
Syntax: all the money collected by the Catholic church from sinners
Thrombosis: an instrument used in a jazz band
Truancy: something which has been proved to be true
Turquoise: like a turtle and moves very slow
News and Updates
3 May 13: "Sister" book, The Funny Dictionary, now available as an e-book. Buy here for just $6.95.
15 June 12: Improve your vocabulary with the recently updated English Language Skills site!
30 Nov 11: Author of Funny English launches Facebook Fan Page for new book, The Funny Dictionary
19 Nov 11: Order Funny English for Christmas. Order here, from anywhere in the world.
9 Sep 11: Funny English author, Troy Simpson, to give Author Talk, 15 Sept 11 (updated: SOLD OUT)
27 April 11: Funny English is the National Library Bookshop's No 1 Bestseller for Autumn 2011! Order your copy while stocks last
8 April 11: Author of Funny English, Troy Simpson, joins fellow author Denise Sutherland in launching the website, English Language Skills.
11 Jan 11: Read the review of Funny English in Teacher: The National Education Magazine here.
11 Jan 11: Sister website, Write Better English, finds new owners. Read press release.
25 Dec 10: Funny English receives glowing review in Teacher: The National Education Magazine (more details soon)
21 Dec 10: A video of the launch of Funny English is now available
16 Dec 10: Troy Simpson and Denise Sutherland to write a book of funny definitions
15 Dec 10: Author of Funny English announces work on new book of funny exam answers
11 Dec 10: Author of Funny English attends book signing at Borders
22 Nov 10: Funny English reaches 60,000 Facebook Fans
21 Nov 10: Funny English is featured on ABC Radio's Tuesday Morning Book Club
19 Nov 10: Funny English moves up into Borders' Top 10 Bestseller List in Humour & Gifts
13 Nov 10: Funny English makes Borders' Top 20 Bestseller List in Humour & Gifts
8 Nov 10: Funny English debuts in the National Library's bestseller list for October at number 3
4 Nov 10: Funny English receives positive review by The Canberra Times. Read the review here.
31 Oct 10: Funny English is available from Borders' Christmas Catalogue under "Hot Gifts for Everyone"
29 Oct 10: Readers' positive feedback floods in. Read news ticker for examples.
29 Oct 10: Funny English is officially launched. Details to follow.
23 Oct 10: Funny English reaches 50,000 Facebook Fans
18 Oct 10: Funny English moves up from 9th to 8th in NewSouthBooks' Top 10 Bestsellers — in all categories
13 Oct 10: Funny English is most "Liked" book in Humour at Borders
8 Oct 10: Funny English moves up NewSouthBooks' Top 10 Bestsellers — in all categories
6 Oct '10: Author of Funny English interviewed by Carol Duncan on ABC radio Newcastle/Sydney
4 Oct '10: Funny English enters Top 5 Bestseller List in Humour for Borders
4 Oct '10: Author of Funny English interviewed by Ross Solly on ABC radio Canberra
2 Oct '10: Funny English enters Top 10 Bestseller List for NewSouthBooks
1 Oct '10: Funny English is top pre-order in Humour for Borders
1 Oct '10: Funny English appears in bookstores