The Finer Arts
This page provides extracts from authentic, unconsciously humorous answers to school exam questions and essays, gathered from a compilation by Viking Press published under the pseudonym of Alexander Abingdon in 1952. The selected extracts, edited and rearranged, are reproduced for readers in countries where the book is in the public domain, which, to the best of our knowledge, includes Australia (because more than 50 years have passed since the book's publication and because the so-called anonymous rule applies). For other countries, please check your local copyright laws.
In painting you make believe apples are something to look at
The three greatest artists of the Renaissance are Angelo, Leonardo, and Archipelago
The Egyptian pyramid was made in the shape of a huge triangular cube
The Temple of Zeus was built of pillars that bulge out. This is called the Ironic style.
In Athens there is a temple called the Pancreas
The dome of St Paul's is supported by eight peers, all of which are unfortunately cracked
The value of music in the public schools is that it acts as a laxative for the pupils
The favourite instrument of the ancient Arabians was known as the eunuch
It is unusual to be a contemporary composer; most composers don't live until they are dead
Bach, the composer, wrote music for the organ. He had three wives and twenty children, and in his spare time he practiced in the attic on the spinster.
News and Updates
1 Jan 14: Funny English Errors Facebook Fan Page reaches 1 million followers
3 May 13: "Sister" book, The Funny Dictionary, now available as an e-book. Buy here for just $6.95.
9 Sep 11: Funny English author, Troy Simpson, to give Author Talk, 15 Sept 11 (updated: SOLD OUT)
27 April 11: Funny English is the National Library Bookshop's No 1 Bestseller for Autumn 2011! Order your copy while stocks last
11 Jan 11: Read the review of Funny English in Teacher: The National Education Magazine here.
21 Dec 10: A video of the launch of Funny English is now available
11 Dec 10: Author of Funny English attends book signing at Borders
21 Nov 10: Funny English is featured on ABC Radio's Tuesday Morning Book Club
19 Nov 10: Funny English moves up into Borders' Top 10 Bestseller List in Humour & Gifts
13 Nov 10: Funny English makes Borders' Top 20 Bestseller List in Humour & Gifts
8 Nov 10: Funny English debuts in the National Library's bestseller list for October at number 3
4 Nov 10: Funny English receives positive review by The Canberra Times. Read the review here.
31 Oct 10: Funny English is available from Borders' Christmas Catalogue under "Hot Gifts for Everyone"
18 Oct 10: Funny English moves up from 9th to 8th in NewSouthBooks' Top 10 Bestsellers — in all categories
13 Oct 10: Funny English is most "Liked" book in Humour at Borders
8 Oct 10: Funny English moves up NewSouthBooks' Top 10 Bestsellers — in all categories
6 Oct '10: Author of Funny English interviewed by Carol Duncan on ABC radio Newcastle/Sydney
4 Oct '10: Funny English enters Top 5 Bestseller List in Humour for Borders
4 Oct '10: Author of Funny English interviewed by Ross Solly on ABC radio Canberra
2 Oct '10: Funny English enters Top 10 Bestseller List for NewSouthBooks
1 Oct '10: Funny English is top pre-order in Humour for Borders
1 Oct '10: Funny English appears in bookstores