The Finer Arts

This page provides extracts from authentic, unconsciously humorous answers to school exam questions and essays, gathered from a compilation by Viking Press published under the pseudonym of Alexander Abingdon in 1952. The selected extracts, edited and rearranged, are reproduced for readers in countries where the book is in the public domain, which, to the best of our knowledge, includes Australia (because more than 50 years have passed since the book's publication and because the so-called anonymous rule applies). For other countries, please check your local copyright laws.

In painting you make believe apples are something to look at

The three greatest artists of the Renaissance are Angelo, Leonardo, and Archipelago

The Egyptian pyramid was made in the shape of a huge triangular cube

The Temple of Zeus was built of pillars that bulge out. This is called the Ironic style.

In Athens there is a temple called the Pancreas

The dome of St Paul's is supported by eight peers, all of which are unfortunately cracked

The value of music in the public schools is that it acts as a laxative for the pupils

The favourite instrument of the ancient Arabians was known as the eunuch

It is unusual to be a contemporary composer; most composers don't live until they are dead

Bach, the composer, wrote music for the organ. He had three wives and twenty children, and in his spare time he practiced in the attic on the spinster.


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