Advertisements

This page provides a selection of funny advertisements, collected from Marshall Brown's The Humor of Bulls and Blunders.  The extracts are reproduced for readers in countries where the book is in the public domain, which, to the best of our knowledge, includes Australia. For other countries, please check your local copyright laws.

An advertisement for a new kind of baby's bottle: When the baby is done drinking, it must be unscrewed and laid in a cool place under a tap. If the baby does not thrive on fresh milk, it should be boiled.

An advertisement for a cemetery: Graves finely situated, surrounded by the beauties of nature, commanding a fine view of the bay, and, in short, meeting with every requirement of the human family. People who have tried them cannot be persuaded to go elsewhere.

Wanted: A furnished room for a single gentleman looking both ways and well-ventilated

Wanted: A saddle-horse for a lady weighing nine hundred and fifty pounds

Wanted: For the summer, a cottage for a small family with good drainage

Wanted: A man and his wife as caretakers for a gentleman's country house. One must be sober.

Wanted: A good girl to cook, and one who will make a good roast or broil and will stew well

Wanted: A young man to take care of a pair of mules of a Christian disposition

Wanted: Situation by a young lady who can do all kinds of sewing and embroidery except music

Wanted: A boy to open oysters fifteen years old

To rent: A room for a gentleman, large, airy, and square

To rent: Two rooms furnished with a young widow

To rent: Delightful summer residence, two minutes' walk from station, one mile to nearest saloon, and directly opposite insane asylum

Lost: Lost by a poor boy tied up in a brown paper with a white string a German flute with an overcoat and several other articles of wearing apparel

Lost: A black goat last seen chasing a woman, with a bell round her neck

Personal: Mr Bronson has the honor and regrets to inform his patrons and friends that he has just published a new waltz, The Breeze of Ontario, and lost his daughter, Susan Deborah, aged fifteen years. The waltz is on sale at all music-sellers, and the funeral will take place tomorrow morning at eleven o'clock.