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Bench and Bar

This page provides examples of unintentionally humorous bloopers from lawyers, judges, and jurors collected from Marshall Brown's The Humor of Bulls and Blunders.  The extracts are reproduced for readers in countries where the book is in the public domain, which, to the best of our knowledge, includes Australia. For other countries, please check your local copyright laws.

A rather pathetic plea to the jury by the Defendant's attorney:

Gentlemen of the jury, think of his poor mother — his only mother

A judge sentencing the Defendant for the Defendant's stealing from the Defendant's employer:

If ever there was a clearer case than this of a man robbing his master this case is that case

In sentencing a man to a comparatively light punishment, the judge said:

There are mitigating circumstances in this case that induce me to take a lenient view of it, and I will therefore give you a chance of redeeming a character that you have irretrievably lost

A judge to a witness:

Don't go gabbling on so. Hold your tongue and answer the question that is put to you.

The affidavit of a policeman:

The prisoner sat on me, calling me an ass, a precious dolt, a scarecrow, a ragamuffin, and idiot — all of which I certify to be true.

The jury's verdict:

Not guilty — but we recommend him not to do it again

Again:

We find the man who stole the mare not guilty

Another jury's verdict:

Unanimous — nine to three

Transcript of a trial:

Judge: What sort of man was it whom you saw commit the assault? Constable: He was small, insignificant, about your own size, your Honor

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