Classroom Definitions

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Classroom Definitions

This page provides examples of unconsciously funny definitions from school children, collected from Walter Jerrold's Bulls, Blunders, and Howlers. The extracts are reproduced for readers in countries where the book is in the public domain, which, to the best of our knowledge, includes Australia. For other countries, please check your local copyright laws.

Anaesthetist: a person who does not believe in God

Buttress: a female goat

Insulator: a person who insults another person

Optimist: a woman who marries two husbands

Oyster: a fish built like a nut

Post-mortem: manager of a post office

Salt: the stuff which makes potatoes taste nasty if you boil them without it

Stalemate: a friend you are sick of

Synonym: a word you use when you can't spell the other one

Unaware: what you take off last thing before you put your nightie on

White: the colour that stands for joy. Women are married in white, but men are not

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