Sorry! We don't have any competitions open right now. Read some of the answers to our previous competition and check out the links below for other places where you can find online competitions.
Selected entries: In our previous competition, we asked "What is the funniest English error you've ever made, seen, or heard?" Here are the best entries we received (congratulations Steven Fisher for your winning entry about a doctor "exposing himself" to the profession):
- "Guests are requested not to associate with solicitors in the lobby" (Matt K, ACT)
- A priest thanks a lady for putting decorations in the church manger: "I thank Mrs X who is responsible for the droppings in the manger" (Steven F, ACT)
- A letter from a foreign doctor hoping to practice in Australia: "I am hoping to come to Australia to expose myself in my profession" (Steven F, ACT)
- From the Daily Telegraph: "During her visit Queen Elizabeth will piss over the Sydney Harbour Bridge" (Pat F, ACT)
- An essay about South Africa produced a tale of "Zoo loos and their culture". Beware the ferocious African public amenities! (David P, ACT)
- The Black Hole of Calcutta was where 108 men were locked in a room with only one small widow and only two men came out alive (Jill S, NSW)
- Elderly rural farmer employee's explanation of his Austin 7 Car tracks through Mallee scrub: "A mouse came up the exhilarator and ran up my trouser leg" (Jenny H, ACT)
- School teacher confiscating tennis balls from teenage student: "If a boy your age can't look after his balls, he doesn't deserve to have any!" (Julie B)
You may find our competitions listed from time-to-time on these free competitions sites:
News and Updates
3 May 13: "Sister" book, The Funny Dictionary, now available as an e-book. Buy here for just $6.95.
15 June 12: Improve your vocabulary with the recently updated English Language Skills site!
30 Nov 11: Author of Funny English launches Facebook Fan Page for new book, The Funny Dictionary
19 Nov 11: Order Funny English for Christmas. Order here, from anywhere in the world.
9 Sep 11: Funny English author, Troy Simpson, to give Author Talk, 15 Sept 11 (updated: SOLD OUT)
27 April 11: Funny English is the National Library Bookshop's No 1 Bestseller for Autumn 2011! Order your copy while stocks last
8 April 11: Author of Funny English, Troy Simpson, joins fellow author Denise Sutherland in launching the website, English Language Skills.
11 Jan 11: Read the review of Funny English in Teacher: The National Education Magazine here.
11 Jan 11: Sister website, Write Better English, finds new owners. Read press release.
25 Dec 10: Funny English receives glowing review in Teacher: The National Education Magazine (more details soon)
21 Dec 10: A video of the launch of Funny English is now available
16 Dec 10: Troy Simpson and Denise Sutherland to write a book of funny definitions
15 Dec 10: Author of Funny English announces work on new book of funny exam answers
11 Dec 10: Author of Funny English attends book signing at Borders
22 Nov 10: Funny English reaches 60,000 Facebook Fans
21 Nov 10: Funny English is featured on ABC Radio's Tuesday Morning Book Club
19 Nov 10: Funny English moves up into Borders' Top 10 Bestseller List in Humour & Gifts
13 Nov 10: Funny English makes Borders' Top 20 Bestseller List in Humour & Gifts
8 Nov 10: Funny English debuts in the National Library's bestseller list for October at number 3
4 Nov 10: Funny English receives positive review by The Canberra Times. Read the review here.
31 Oct 10: Funny English is available from Borders' Christmas Catalogue under "Hot Gifts for Everyone"
29 Oct 10: Readers' positive feedback floods in. Read news ticker for examples.
29 Oct 10: Funny English is officially launched. Details to follow.
23 Oct 10: Funny English reaches 50,000 Facebook Fans
18 Oct 10: Funny English moves up from 9th to 8th in NewSouthBooks' Top 10 Bestsellers — in all categories
13 Oct 10: Funny English is most "Liked" book in Humour at Borders
8 Oct 10: Funny English moves up NewSouthBooks' Top 10 Bestsellers — in all categories
6 Oct '10: Author of Funny English interviewed by Carol Duncan on ABC radio Newcastle/Sydney
4 Oct '10: Funny English enters Top 5 Bestseller List in Humour for Borders
4 Oct '10: Author of Funny English interviewed by Ross Solly on ABC radio Canberra
2 Oct '10: Funny English enters Top 10 Bestseller List for NewSouthBooks
1 Oct '10: Funny English is top pre-order in Humour for Borders
1 Oct '10: Funny English appears in bookstores