Bible Bloopers
Hunt's Howlers—Bible Bloopers
This page contains selected Bible bloopers from Cecil Hunt's classic book of Howlers, published in 1928. The selected extracts, edited and rearranged, are reproduced for readers in countries where Howlers is in the public domain, which includes Australia. For other countries, please check your local copyright laws.
Definitions
Acrimony: sometimes called holy, is another name for marriage.
Evolution: what Darwin did; Revolution: a kind of government abroad; Devolution: something to do with Satan.
Faith: that quality by which we believe what we should otherwise think was false.
Graven image: The thing put in the grave when they are buried.
Idolator: a very idle person.
Monastery: a place where they make money.
Parable: a heavenly story with no earthly meaning.
Passover: a man who goes from bad to worse, like Judas Iscariot.
Philistines: islands in the Pacific.
Primate: the wife of the Prime Minister.
Q. Explain the meaning of bishop, priest, and deacon. A. I never saw a bishop so I don't know. A priest is a man in the Old Testament. A deacon is a thing you pile on the top of a hill and set fire to it.
People
Salome was a very wicked woman who wore very few clothes and took them all off when she danced before Harrods.
Jacob had a brother called Aseesaw.
When Moses died, Joshua was his predecessor.
As Isaac grew up he always domineered, so the only thing to do was to turn him into the dessert.
Miscellaneous
Q. What is the outward and visible sign or form of Baptism? A. The baby.
A lie is an abomination unto the Lord, but a very present help in trouble.
The Israelites made a golden calf because they hadn't got enough gold to make a cow.
Sodom and Gomorrah are two famous volcanoes in Europe.
The Papal Bull is the animal kept at the Vatican to feed the Pope's children.
Q. Explain what is meant by bearing false witness against one's neighbour. A. It was when nobody did nothing, and somebody went and told of it.
And he said: "What shall I do to inherit internal life?"
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