Geography Howlers

Hunt's Howlers—Geography Howlers

This page contains selected geography howlers from Cecil Hunt's classic book of Howlers, published in 1928. The selected extracts, edited and rearranged, are reproduced for readers in countries where Howlers is in the public domain, which includes Australia. For other countries, please check your local copyright laws.

Australia

Australia sends to England wine made from a bird called the Emu.

There is a great deal of nothing in the centre of Australia.

In Australia, the grass knows it is a dry climate and so stores up water and is very juicy.

Capitals

Norway's capital is called Christianity.

Lipton is the capital of Ceylon.

Brussels is famous for its carpets and sprouts.

Climate

The Temperate Zone is the region where no one drinks too much.

The climate of Bombay is such that its inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

Definitions

Coal: decayed vegetarians.

Cyclone: a man riding a bicycle.

Equator: a difficult thing in algebra.

Fissure: a man who sells fish.

Imports: ports very far inland.

Latitude: tells you how hot you are; longitude: how cold you are.

Mountain range: a cooking stove used at high altitudes.

Oceania: the continent which contains no land.

Reefs: what you put on coffins.

Economy

Persian cats is the chief industry of Persia, hence the word "purr".

Iron is grown in large quantities for manufacturing purposes in South France.

England is a town in Europe which manufactures raw materials.

China is called China because the first china was made there.

The chief occupation of the inhabitants of Perth is dying.

Much butter is imported from Denmark because their cows have greater enterprise and superior technical education than ours.

The probable cause of earthquakes may be attributed to bad drainage and neglect of sewage.

When a volcano has been instinct some time a hard rock stops the chimney up.

Rivers

The Nile is full of crocodiles and pyramids.

Q. What are the main feeders of the Amazon and Orinoco? A. Alligators.

Miscellaneous

This part of the world is inhabited solely because it is there.

The sun sets in the west and hurries round to the east to be in time to rise next morning.

The winds are dejected because of the rotation of the earth's crust.

The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends towards the moon because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. Gravitation at the earth keeps the water rising all the way to the moon. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

The inhabitants of Moscow are called mosquitoes.

The people in Iceland are called Equinoxes.

Switzerland is a very wonderful place. You can often see the mountains touring among the clouds.

Q. Name six animals peculiar to the Arctic regions. A. Three bears and three seals.

New York stands on the Atlantic sideboard.