More Handpicked Howlers

YOUR COMMENTS... +++ B. Stover: This book will be a laugh a day! +++ B. Stover: I'm dying laughing here +++ Canberra Times: A good little book for a great big giggle +++ Canberra Times: Just in time for the Christmas buying spree as it's ideal for someone who'll enjoy the howlers +++ Canberra Times: For a good laugh you can't go past what kids think they hear and then write +++ Canberra Times: Mrs Malaprop, the doyenne of linguistic disaster, would get a good laugh as well as you out of Funny English +++ Jen S: Ha! What a great Christmas present! +++ Steven F: Definitely worth a look for your Christmas shopping list +++ Denise S: Your book had my dad and his wife in tears of laughter! +++ Kate O.D.: This book is far too hilarious to have at work. I have been in hysterics... +++ Andrew B: Wonderful book! +++ Shane S: What a fantastic book! +++ Jamie W: The collection of examples must have been an amazing and time consuming effort to find and collate. +++ Brett S: Hilarious! +++ Helen W: Great book +++ The Mitchells: A fantastic book +++ Nick B: Fantastic book. Well done. +++ Jean B: A great book. +++ Steven F: Great book! +++ Michael H: A very entertaining read +++

More Handpicked Howlers

This page contains a selection of howlers from Cecil Hunt's classic book of More Handpicked Howlers, published in 1938. The selected extracts, edited and rearranged, are reproduced for readers in countries where More Handpicked Howlers is in the public domain, which includes Australia. For other countries, please check your local copyright laws.

As we were going back to school next day we got our clothes ready for the mourning.

In our school are half girls.

On her hat she wears the school monologue.

I lay stretched in a gondola on the canal, drinking it all in. Life never seemed so full before.

He called his wife darling and other superfluous names.

Once accepted by the corporation you become a stationary employee.

The woman had her face lifted by a drastic surgeon.

In this country you have to produce a certificate before you can prove you are born.

Unaware means the clothes we put on first.

Her mother, being immortal, had died.

August 27 was Confucius’s bathday.

The opposite of negative is photograph.

The results of the meeting did not come up to expectorations.

To be a good nurse you must be absolutely sterile.

Lingerie is another name for hanging about.

To exhort means to tire out—eg, he was exhorted.

A paradox is a cross between a parrot and a cow.

An artery is another name for picture-gallery.

My father put his foot on the exhilarator and the car was immediately exhilarated.

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